What matters to you? Your family, your faith, your friends, your home, your pets, your job? Most of us would probably include those things on our list. Knowing how much you treasure your family and friends, you also have faith that they treasure you just as much. So what happens when there is a disconnect? What do you say to a loved one who says, "I don't matter anymore?"
You know they're wrong because they matter to YOU. So, what do you say? Do the words "I love you" go in one ear and out the other? What else can you say? Recently, one of my loved ones posted this on Facebook of all places. The return comments all summed it up-- they love her, too. I tried to add more. I pointed out to her all the comments from her friends and family, reiterated my love for her, and also mentioned the end results of believing in that phrase.
When you convince yourself that you don't matter anymore, a number of things happen. Once you believe you don't matter, depression can set in. This is awful just by itself. You may stop taking care of yourself, stop caring about work, and stop caring about others. And this leads to isolation. You start to think that no one wants you around, and so you oblige them and sit at home. You turn down invitations to dinner, to movies, to parties and baby showers. And you end up sitting at home alone, spiraling further into your depression and isolation. Eventually, your friends get the hint and leave you alone. Then you may sit there on your couch and grow bitter over the fact that your friends don't even call to find out why you're not around.
As you can tell, I speak from experience. But I was lucky enough to reach out and find friends who were there to help. If you are in this spiral, please reach out. You'll be surprised to find your friends want to help, that they didn't leave you after all. The faith component to all this is that the Bible shows us that God loves us, too. Even more than our family and friends. God loves us so much that He did not want us to die in our sin. He sacrificed His Son, Jesus, on a cross in a horrible death, just so we could be saved from the sin that lurks within us. If we trust in Jesus, we are never truly alone, and we ALWAYS matter.
Yet, my loved one posted that she doesn't matter. I tell her I love her. I tell her God loves her. I tell her the consequences of believing that lie. Is it enough? The problem is, I can't make her stop believing that she doesn't matter. Only she can name this for what it really is: a lie.
What about you? What would you tell your loved one if they told you they didn't matter? I'm learning as I go, just like everyone else. So tell me: What would you do? I'm looking forward to your comments.
Toni
